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Batman and Robin
Batman and Robin is a 1997 comic book superhero film directed by Joel Schumacher and written by Akiva Goldsman. It is considered by most people to be not only the worst comic book movie ever made, but one of the worst movies of all time, in general. In hindsight, yes, it is godawful, but there are many, many far worse movies out there, folks. It was reviewed by Michael David Sims, James and Ian Wilson on Earth-2.net: The Show Episode #350. Plot Batman and Robin have endless bitchfights while Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy (along with the most embarrassing and bastardized version of Bane in history) team up in a $100 million remake of the 1960's Adam West TV show. Oh, and Batgirl is thrown into the fray for literally no reason whatsoever. Characters *Batman *Robin *Mr. Freeze *Poison Ivy *"Bane" *Batgirl *Commissioner Gordon *Alfred Pennyworth *Jason Woodrue *Julie Madison *Gossip Gerty Why does it suck? Let me count the ways... *The Bat. Credit. Card. *Bane. *Puns. And more puns. Oh, and yet more puns. *Poison Ivy gets eaten by a plant. Think about that for a second... *Poison Ivy burns down a greenhouse. Think about that for a second... *Batman and Robin on ice. *Bat and Bird nipples *The Barbara character in its entirety. *There is one generation gap between Michael Gough and Alicia Silverstone, apparently. *Barbara Wilson (nee Gordon) berates Dick Grayson (and vicariously, Bruce Wayne) for employing a butler. She does this after ''Grayson saves her life ''and ''after she steals and wrecks one of Wayne's motorcycles. *The airsurfing sequence *Mr. Freeze just carries around a cure to the disease in his armor. *More puns shoved into every orifice of this thing. *A gorilla stripping is sexier than a bunch of scantily clad women. *Mr. Freeze, the guy who only has eyes for Nora, keeps a hooker in his ice hideout. *Alfred knew Barbara's measurements enough to make a tight-fitting rubber Batsuit for her. Creepy... *Commissioner Gordon holds jewelry up, attends a telescope unveiling, and pretty much does anything else that isn't actual police work. *Mr. Freeze smokes a cigar, despite the fact that this would kill him probably instantly. *Batman thinks a motorcycle can't make a crazy jump that a tank is able to. *Robin tries to escape, but is rewound into, a pool. Fantastic cinematography. *Barbara takes up street racing after her parents die in a fiery car crash. *Gossip Gerty *Dick Grayson is a whiny bitch for 87% of the movie. For the other 13%, he's either helpless or following Barbara around for literally no reason. *The entire "stems and buds" conversation. *Did I mention the puns? *Why the fuck does Mr. Freeze have a rocketship? *Rubber icicles *Poison Ivy could have killed Robin after he pulled the rubber lips off, but instead...she pushes him into a swimming pool. *Batman records Ivy admitting she killed Nora even though he was tangled up in the ceiling of vines the entire time. *Why did Alfred tell Barbara to find his brother if he knew all along she was going to try to find out what was on that CD? *I hope I didn't forget to mention the puns. Highlights *Ian singing his rendition of "I Got You Babe" *James loses it when talking about Bane *Mike bangs his head on the desk (again) upon talking about the Bat Credit Card Score James, Mike, and Ian all gave it a unanimous '''0 out of 5'. Tiradesverse tropes *Protagonists? - Batgirl is the worst, but also Batman and Robin *Courtney - Julie Madison *There Are No Police - An example of them being present, but completely useless (especially their Commissioner) *Ben Kingsley Paycheck - George Clooney and Uma Thurman *MacGuffin Disease - Alfred's ailment *Movie hacking - Batgirl with the telescope *Plot convenience **Mr. Freeze's rocketship (?!?!) has three emergency exits **Pamela Isley's greenhouse was at one time bankrolled by Wayne Enterprises, which she happens to see on a beaker as she's destroying everything **Alfred knew his niece's measurements enough to make a tight-fitting leather suit **Mr. Freeze carries the cure to the MacGuffin Disease in his suit with him at all times **Poison Ivy admits to Batgirl that she killed Nora Fries **Batman shows Mr. Freeze the recording of Ivy admitting her crime despite being tangled up in vines at the time of the confession *The B Stands for Big Budget - This is literally just a resurrection of Batman '66 with an endless budget *Foot sweeps - All of the heroes *Clusterfuck Syndrome *Finer Cronies and Goons, Inc. - Freeze's goons *Thank you very little - Bat-ass and nipples on the costumes *Exposition fairy - Gossip Gerty *Tonal Shift from Hell - Freeze watches an old video of his wife and himself that causes him to cry and the audience to feel bad for him...which is then met by him freezing Frosty the Goon solid and quipping, "I hate it when people interrupt the movie." *Eric Roberts Paycheck - Coolio *EXTREME CLOSE-UP - So blatant that Arnold Schwarzenegger breaks the fourth wall during one *Glasses Make Smart - Barbara Category:Other reviews Category:Comic book adaptations Category:Action films Category:1997 films